I'm sitting in my house on the third week of school. Miller is in 2nd, Colby is in 3rd. Miller has Mrs. Walton and a new friend Aster, as well as a good friend named Emily. Colby has Mr. Balance and is in class with his buddies Thomas, Julian, and Dillon. It's going to be a great school year for them both.
I feel sad because I know these days are just slipping by so fast. I LOVE these days....well, most of them. The days are often hard and challenging, particularly with Colby. But I love the little things so much. My favorite thing is just to sit at their swim practices and watch them swim. I'm not sure why, but it brings me an immense amount of joy to sit there at the pool. I love our little snuggle times at night and our chats. The one on one time is my favorite. Lee always says I have doomed myself with a long bed time routine, but I wouldn't have it any other way.
The most challenging thing with our kids has been managing Colby's medication and figuring out what he needs. After three years on various medications for ADHD (stimulants and non-stimulants) we have added in Prozac. It has seemed to help very much, but as soon as I say something is great, it changes. Poor little guy has been through so much and life has been very hard for him. Imagine feeling irritable day in and day out and having no energy left for simple daily tasks. That's where he was before we added in the Prozac. I worry all the time about the long term effects of these medications. BUT, not giving him the medication is a known bad effect. He would struggle in school and struggle to focus on his activities. Without the prozac, he just wasn't happy much of the time. We have not taken this lightly at all...medication is a last resort. But, it has been the only option left for us. Colby is such an amazing little boy, and I want him to feel happy and confident as he continues to grow.
Miller is still my little ray of sunshine and brings joy into every day. She loves her brother so much and will do anything for him. I worry sometimes that she does the wrong things to earn his affection (giving him her money, buying him wii apps with her money, giving him her candy), and I don't want this to be a pattern when she's older. Hopefully she will not be attracted to men who treat her nice one day and not nice the next...and hopefully she won't feel she has to do things for them to earn their affection.
Colby has started flag football and absolutely loves it. I am pretty sure he will be playing football one day. He's also swimming, but he's not loving it because he moved up to Junior 2 and feels that he isn't as fast as they are. Miller is also swimming CYAC as a Junior 1 and she seems to love it so far. She also really loves playing the piano and has a knack for teaching herself songs.
I want to look back and know that I DID realize how precious these days are. I know! I think about it every day, and sometimes feel so sad that things are changing so fast and my little ones aren't that little. I have LOVED being their mom and can't imagine not having them here with me. Oh it makes me broken hearted to think about Miller going to college. She's my little best friend and I tell her that. I hope we will always be best friends.
Some funny stuff:
2/25/15 (age 6)
Miller was surprised to learn that Nan is almost 70. She said that Nan seemed 45 and that most people 70 used a walking stick.
3/7/15
Miller
"I wish there was a holiday called dessert for everything."
4/30
Miller teaching Colby about birth:
You eat a seed, it grows in your tummy, and then you poop it out.
5/13 age 6
From Tangled miller always says:
Mother knows best, listen to your mumsy cause it's none of your beeswax.
"I can talk England"
5/20
After getting crutches:
"One of my dreams came true today mommy."
5/22: mommy you have pieces of hair in your arm pit. Are you going to clean your arm pits out?
6/3:
Whenever Colby wants something badly he will say "may you please..."
6/20:
Colby when erica and Lisa were visiting:
Mom can I please skip basketball camp and spend the night here?
Because it's really special and I really like these people.
Miller doing taser to Colby on couch with erica and Alfred:
Colby:
Said to Miller when she was tickling him:
"That wasn't your best"
"try doing it to yourself"
"It gives me a funny feeling in my tummy."
6/22:
Miller After throwing up in the morning:
"I don't know how I got the stomach bug because I've had pants on, so it didn't come in through my butt."
6/23:
"You're my best friend mommy. My BFF. (Spells with finger). And if you go to heaven, you'll live here in my heart."
8/9:
A month or so ago, miller told me that when I died I would live in her heart. It freaked me out. Tonight, about a month later, she looked at me out of the blue and said "you'll be alive when you really aren't alive. That's because you'll visit me in my dreams after you die". We've never talked about any of this! I'm freaked out!!
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